IS MY HANDWRITING TOO SLOPPY FOR YOUR EYEBALLS? HERE'S THE TEXT OF THE ABOVE CARD ... [BLANK], PRESIDENT / SLEEPY'S, THE MATTRESS PROFESSIONALS / 175 CENTRAL AVENUE SOUTH / BETHPAGE, NY 11714 / DEAR MR. [BLANK] -- I AM WRITING IN REGARD TO YOUR JOB POSTING FOR SALES REPRESENTATIVES. AFTER CAREFUL ANALYSIS, I HAVE DETERMINED THAT I AM JUST THE ONE FOR THE JOB. CONGRATULATIONS! ASIDE FROM SHODDY WORKMANSHIP, I AM PERFECT FOR IT. I OFTEN ARRIVE ON TIME AND ONCE STAYED LATE. MORLEY TELLS ME THAT YOU ENCOURAGE SLEEPING ON THE JOB. I MUST ADMIT THAT PENELOPE IS A MUCH BETTER NAPPER THAN ME, BUT I'M NO SLOUCH! (EXCEPT WHEN STOOPING.) I HAVE NEVER ACTUALLY SOLD ANYTHING BUT AM AN EXCELLENT HINT DROPPER. DO I GET A NAME TAG? SAY, HOW ABOUT A COMBINATION FEATHER AND WATER BED? HAS ANYONE THOUGHT OF THAT BEFORE? OR BETTER YET, WHAT ABOUT A WATER PILLOW? COMES WITH A BUILT IN STRAW, FOR NIGHT THIRSTS.