IS MY HANDWRITING TOO SLOPPY FOR YOUR EYEBALLS? HERE'S THE TEXT OF THE ABOVE CARD ... CHUCK NORRIS / 18653 VENTURE BLVD. #751 / TARZANA, CALIFORNIA 91356-4103
DEAR MR. NORRIS -- I KNOW THAT YOU HAVE INSISTED THAT I CALL YOU "CHUCKLES", JUST LIKE YOUR CLOSE FRIENDS AND FAMILY, BUT LET'S KEEP THIS BUSINESS, SHALL WE? YOU ARE A TRUE GENTLEMAN. THAT NOTWITHSTANDING, AS PER REQUEST, I HAVE CREATED A NEW MARTIAL ART. IT'S CALLED SLAP FU DO™, AND OH MAN IS IT REALLY SOMETHING. ONLY SLAPS ARE ALLOWED, NO CLOSED FISTS. IT IS DESIGNED TO IRRITATE YOUR ENEMY, NOT HARM HIM. MAY CAUSE REDNESS. IT IS A DISCIPLINE OF THE MIND AND BODY AND OTHER SUCH THINGS. BUT MOSTLY THE HAND. MASTER BLACK BELTS ARE TRAINED TO USE A FLOPPY RUBBER SLAPPER, BUT ONLY IN SELF-DEFENSE. THEY ALSO RECEIVE A COMPLIMENTARY TRIVET. IS SLAPPING WITH THE FEET ALLOWED?