IS MY HANDWRITING TOO SLOPPY FOR YOUR EYEBALLS? HERE'S THE TEXT OF THE ABOVE CARD ... [BLANK], CONDUCTOR / THE BOSTON POPS / SYMPHONY HALL / 301 MASSACHUSETTS AVE. / BOSTON, MASSACHUSETTS 02115 / CONDUCTOR [BLANK] -- THE BOSTON POPS! I HAVE ENJOYED YOUR MUSIC ONCE! AS PER REQUEST, I HAVE ALSO INVENTED A NEW INSTRUMENT. IT IS A CROSS BETWEEN A VIOLIN AND A TUBA. WHY HAVE YOU PEOPLE NOT THOUGHT OF THIS? (IT DOUBLES AS A CROCK POT.) ONLY SIDE EFFECT IS THAT PROLONGED USE MAY LEAD TO STOOPING. BUT IT SOUNDS GREAT AND MAKES EXCELLENT GUMBO. LENTIL SOUP RESULTS IN A SLIGHTLY HIGHER PITCH. GREAT FOR CONCERTOS! [KONCHERTOS] TRY IT WITH MINESTRONE. I CALL IT A VIOLTUBACROCK™. COMES WITH SPLATTER GUARD (STANDARD). A MUST FOR GREAT COMPOSERS. BEEF STEW IS A BIT "BASSY," BUT YOUTH LOVE IT. P.S. DID YOU KNOW THAT BEETHOVEN LOST HIS HEARING BEFORE HIS 9TH SYMPHONY? (IMPRESS YOUR FRIENDS WITH THAT TRIVIA.)