IS MY HANDWRITING TOO SLOPPY FOR YOUR EYEBALLS? HERE'S THE TEXT OF THE ABOVE CARD ... HOWARD SCHULTZ / CHAIRMAN / STARBUCKS COFFEE CO. / P.O. BOX 34067 / SEATTLE, WASHINGTON 98124-1067
HELLO AGAIN, HOWARD -- I'M WRITING IN RELATIONS TO OUR BUSINESS DISCUSSIONS ABOUT YOUR NEW PRODUCT: COFFEE TONGS™. THEY ARE SURE TO REPLACE THE CARDBOARD COFFEE SLEEVE IN NO TIME FLAT. WHY PUT YOUR ICY COLD FINGERS AGAINST THAT BURNING HOT TOO THIN PAPERMADE COFFEE CUP WHEN YOU CAN SIMPLY USE COFFEE TONGS™ AND KEEP THE DANGER AT A SAFE DISTANCE? COFFEE TONGS™ ARE LIKE MINI VERSIONS OF THOSE THINGS METAL WORKERS USE TO POUR MOLTEN STEEL FROM FIERY CAULDRONS. GRETCHEN IS SO EXCITED! LAST TIME SHE ORDERED A VENTI™ EXTRA HOT™ COFFEE FROM YOUR BARISTA™ AND DUMPED IT ON MY HEAD, SHE ACCIDENTALLY GOT A DRIP ON HER THUMB AND IT MADE A RED SPOT. NOW, PROBLEM AVERTED! NEXT TIME SHE'LL SIMPLY USE COFFEE TONGS™! AS FOR ME, A FACE FULL OF COFFEE FEELS THE SAME EITHER WAY. ANYWAY, BEST REGARDS!