IS MY HANDWRITING TOO SLOPPY FOR YOUR EYEBALLS? HERE'S THE TEXT OF THE ABOVE CARD ... ATTORNEY SAM BERNSTEIN / 26 COURT STREET / SUITE 600 / BROOKLYN, NEW YORK 11242 SAM, YOU OLD ESQUIRE -- I HAVE A LAW QUESTION WITH REGARD TO LEGAL MATTERS. YOU SEE, I KEEP ACCIDENTALLY STUBBING MY TOE ON THAT CINDER BLOCK I PUT OUTSIDE THE LAUNDRY ROOM FOR AESTHETIC PURPOSES. BUT THEN I FORGET ABOUT IT, AND BEFORE YOU OR I KNOW IT, I'VE STUBBED MY TOE AGAIN! THE SOLUTION? THAT'S WHERE YOU COME IN, CONGRATULATIONS. I HAVE DECIDED TO SUE MYSELF. FOR NEGLIGENCE AND NON-COMPLIANCE (PLEASE EXCUSE THE LEGAL MUMBO JUMBO). I HAVE HIRED GEOFFREY FIEGER TO BE MY DEFENSE ATTORNEY, AND I'D LIKE YOU TO BE MY PLAINTIFF GUY. GEOFFREY SAYS HE CAN "SUE CIRCLES AROUND" YOU, BUT ALLS I WANT HIM TO DO IS PROVE IT'S NOT MY FAULT THAT I KEEP STUBBING MY TOE (LEFT FOOT).