IS MY HANDWRITING TOO SLOPPY FOR YOUR EYEBALLS? HERE'S THE TEXT OF THE ABOVE CARD ... [BLANK], PH.D. / HUMAN GENOME PROJECT / OFFICE OF BIOLOGICAL RESEARCH / LIFE SCIENCES DIVISION / SC-72 GERMANTOWN BLDG. / U.S. DEPARTMENT OF ENERGY / 1000 INDEPENDENCE AVE NW / WASHINGTON, D.C. 20585-1290 / DR. [BLANK] -- HEY, DOC, I NEED YOU TO VOUCH FOR ME. YOU SEE, MORLEY'S GETTING MAD BECAUSE I KEEP SLAPPING HIM ALL THE TIME. LOOK, I TELL HIM, I CAN'T HELP IT, I HAVE A MORLEY-SLAPPING GENE. IT'S HARD-WIRED INTO ME. WE DISCOVERED IT DURING THE HUMAN GENOME PROJECT™. MY GENES REQUIRE ME TO SLAP HIM AT RANDOM INTERVALS. I'M NOT SURE HE'S BUYING IT, WHICH IS WHERE YOU COME IN. NEXT TIME YOU SEE HIM, COULD YOU SHOW HIM MY GENE MAP? MY MORLEY-SLAPPING GENE IS IN THE SOUTHEAST REGION. IT'S IMPORTANT, BECAUSE HE KEEPS GIVING ME ALL SORTS OF GRIEF. SURE HE GETS SLAPPED NOW AND THEN, BUT I HAVE TO LIVE WITH THIS GENETIC ABNORMALITY EVERY DAY. WHERE IS HIS SYMPATHY?